ytd was hw day again.
went to school early today as was afraid of being late.
a new system has been made for late comers.
dont know how long can i keep this up.
so no geo lesson as miss ku went for obs with the sec 3 student i think?
and during this period, michelle drew a smiley face on my arm.
wanyi added more to it.
how horrible it looks.. haha.
the worst was SHORTY MICHELLE CHAN drew another smiley face on my uniform.
then was maths. so the surprise test i did, i score was quite well.
from the previous test, this test made me work harder.
there wasnt any assemble so stay in class doing our own work.
wanyi wrote a letter (love letter) during the period.
thanks for the letter :)
i also reply her letter. haha.
then has a maths afternoon program.
how nice michelle was, waited for it to end before we went to ws to buys somethings.
we were so fickle minded. want to buy.
dont wan to buy.. want to buy.. dont want..
then went to lp to buy something.
reached home 6 plus.
must do work again later.
f&n test is being postpone again.
is it good or bad???

my sister is sick, poor thing.
daddy brought her see the doc just now..

yess..
it strengthen our friendship..
and it will be forever..
many many hugs..




i soo hate that school!!

met up with michelle and jia hui at the bus stop next to our school before going to siglap sec to view games day.
then later jessica, alson and eileen come.
lets say it was a job well done especially for cheerleading.
you guys did your best out there :)
i'll proud of you.
then after that everyone had their own plans.
jessica was going out with ming yang they all.
michelle, jia hui and eileen went for tuition.
so i went home.
took my lunch follow by a nap.
woke up and went to ikea AGAIN!
i dont know why but i'm just to engross over the thing there.
saw my uncle and is wife and giant.
so reached 11.30 or so before coming to blog.
still have a maths hw to be done.
tml must chiong on hw again.

sometime i still find that it just doesn't seem right..
i know it'll take time..
but will it ever be the some as before??
i'm like - so dont know what to do..
i cant seem to keep in mind that this is the fact!
what i yearn, it will nvr be true..

dint bother to blog the last 2 days..
anyway to me it was surpising that many ppl failed the a maths test..
i felt it was rather resonable.
i pass :)
so today jessica and wan yi BULLY me during maths class when teacher was away..
they wack my butt 'OUCH!'
then also remove my rubber band..
whats worst was wanyi also bit me!! haha.
but it was fun.
though it ended me doing every little work given by the teacher..
then waited for their oral to end before going together home..
'see i'so good!!!'
at home the lizard trapper my father stick on the wall
caught a super big lizard. 'yuck'

so bla bla bla....
tml going see np games day!!
all the best hscnpcc!!!
cant wear the same shirt :(

i want to clear all the work as fast as possible!!!!!
something wrong with this laptop's sound effect..
thanks a millions..
i'll remember each and every memory..

i seem totally sleepy the whole day..
school started with ss one of the subject i dread.
then was english.
thought if i finish my compre could take a break but papa das gave more work!
surprisingly, during chinese show us a show..
but it was sooooo boring. not my type nor was i interested.
walk back to class reading my storybook and papa das saw saying i was like a good role model :)
bother english and a maths afternoon programmes were cancelled.
papa das brought forward english remedial by teaching us english during cme.
as for a maths, teacher and a sudden course to attend.
but she told us abt our a maths test..
not many pple did well with only 7 passes out of 17.
i was one of them:) 16/25 but i expected higher. so work harder for the next test!!!
suppose to pop by for np trg but stayed in the room doing my work with jh.
trg ended earlier cause mr tay had to attend something.
jh and the rest went to ws while i went to central to buy dinner..

the feeling is coming back..
i felt welcome again..
thanks, really thanks..

rain rain rain...
went to school early cause of racial harmony.
met outside the school with some of my class girls before going to the toilet to change to our ethic costume.
it was my first year wearing ethic costume.
as it was raining we could get to show our clothes, stayed in class.
but it was GREAT!!!
seeing all the different costumes my classmates wore.
i wore an blue indian costume.
however the sad thing was the a few of my classmates dint wore. :( or it would be the whole class!
had a geo test but everyone wasnt in the mood to study.
followed by english where we had photo taking.
mr das spoil the whole thing. :(
he said he would be wearing but ended not wearing.
took a period or more of photo session followed by compre.
recess was when i realised not many pupils wore as i thought it would be.
our class had the highest number i think
then during fc, papa das uploaded the photos into his com.
he then showed us the pictures taken during eng lesson.
he also showed us his 2 daughters. it was fun.
before going home, we had more photos to take, taking with one another.
to me it seems like it was the last day of school, everyone graduated. haha.
ate lunch with michelle, wanyi and minqi before walking to central for bbt!!
came home cleared the house as it was rather messy before taking a nap.
my parents came home at 8, ate dinner and did my work.


today i enjoyed myself lots and lots!!!
thanks you guys!!!
thanks everyone!!!
what i want is to reduce my work load..
shall upload the photos soon.

so it rain whole day.
the wheather is soooo cold..
woke up 6 plus to help her bring her thing below and my mother called a cab from outside.
woke up so early, carring the heavy bags and i was also half awake.
lost my balance twice while downstairs.
my mother gave the drive a small tip before we went up and back to my comfory bed
woke up 9 plus later.
and had a maths tuition.
my parents went to buy a steam iron, asking us to settle our own lunch.
so asked my sis bought lunch after her tuition.
ate mac then we went folding our clothes in our carboard
bathe followed by hw.

she is gone....
things dint seem right..
having my hw and yet more things are piling..
give me a day break..
i'm so tired..

CANT WAIT FOR TML!!!

she's going off..
she is leaving for 2 weeks..
i've to wake up 7plus to help her bring her things..
she has to get a cab from outside to in..
i'm confused..
i'll miss her..
i pity her for she need to do all this ALONE!!
(though she is independent)
i hate to see her like this..
(maybe she doesnt)
i just hate some of the things happening in my life now!!
i just hate it!!
but i cant do anything..
one day she will really have to go..
because she dont belong here..

RAIN SPOILS MY DAY!!!

was suppose to go swimming at li wen house with her, geetha and melaine today..
but it rain almost the whole day!!
so couldnt swim at all!!
went to li wen house.
both she and melanie tried indian costumes brought by geetha.
it was really funny.
having the comments this and that..
then li wen doggy bark making melanie so scared.
but they were harmless.
kept barking but when i went close to it , it ran away.
so after that geetha went off.
me melanie and li wen went loyang point for lunch.
we went to 'Q BAY' first
that was when i realise it had been along time since i went lp.
the shops sold lots of interesting stuff..
we bought a few items including this seed which i planted not long ago..
hope it does grow well.
after lunch we went our separate ways.

i went tm to buys my things but couldnt find it.
bought the thai dessert 'mango with glutinous rice' then went to ws to buys my stuff.
it was almost 6 when i reach home.
and i went out AGAIN after dinner with my family to ikea.
reach home 10 plus, did my a maths tuition hw and back here blogging.
need to sleep alr..

today went out too much..
prelims, 'N' levels is nearer and i'm still slacking!!
i cant continue this anymore..
tml i've to do all the hw..
haiz. i dread hw!!!

i've realise it!!
i know what it is(well partially)..
it was because i'm always out without you..
thats part of the reason..
and now i'm use to it..
it'll be hard to change back again..

i think i'm going to have sore throat!




had a maths today.
last night dint bring back my notes.
only studies during recess today.
think i'll pass thought.
after school, saw joyce, puay joo, michelle and min qi trying out their clothes.
all of them look so nice in it.
had lunch with michlelle before going home. *thanks*
dint go swimming today cause it rain earlier.
i was also watch some animate on youtube.
tml going to li wen hse with geetha swimming anyway.

lots of hw is waiting to be done this weekend..
so tired of school and the huge pile of work to be done..

it just doesn't seem right..
it doesn't..

I DID IT AGAIN!!!
i told myself i wont yet i still do..

still haven found the solution..
when the time is right you will tell me wont you???

today geetha brought her indian costume and me and wan yi tried..
well i find i looked kinda weird..
but wanyi was super pretty in the suit..
anyway looking forward to this coming monday..
i treasure the time with you guys..
thanks..

forcing me to do something i dont want to..
wasting money on it..
wasting my time on it..
how much i say..
you refuse to listen..
i'm so tired..
i really i'm..

something does not feels right somewhere..
i'm not sure wad is it..
it feels weird..
i'm so tired..
tired of this stupid problem..
tired of the tonnes and tonnes of hw!!!
please give me a break!!!

i thought i lost my ezlink card!!
it wasnt with me, it was at home..
but how lucky i was..
after school i walked back home and it was lying on the grass patch..
no one took it away..
what was better was that i dint need to make a new one :)
today my stomatch was like weird weird..
one minute felt like eating the next minute wasnt..
so ended up drinking green tea only..
so nothin much..
shall end here.. having a headache..

thanks ppl, thansks a lot..
i appericate it..
i'll follow my heart from now on..

ytd was grandpa birthday!!
time really flies.. he is 94 years old already!!
so went to my cousin hse and had dinner..
it's such a long time since we had a family gathering..
and see how everyone getting more and more matured..
i also realised all my cousins were tall and lanky..
i did enjoyed myself with all thouse wonderful food..
came home almost 12 so dint do my a maths hw but straight to bed..

i just feel that things are weird..
something is not right..
but i dont know where..

one after another..
when will it end..
i'm sick and tired of it..
it wont stop will it??
i see you cry i cant do anything..
i see you leaving things aside i'm at a lost..
when will it end..
when will it..

the day have been waiting for has arrived..
i thought it wound be longer..
for the pass few months there is a big big part of me which is missing.
and it was hurting..
i thought i could forget.. NO
i thought i could go back.. UNSURE
but now it seems weird..
i was asked to join u guys
at that moment, i was feeling happy, excited, thinking of what is to come but there was something restrain me..
and somehow i dont know why, i rejected..
if i did upset you in anyway i'm deeply sorry.
i dont know if i let go of my one and only chance or wad..
but one think for sure i learnt from my mistake, i dint want to take things for granted..
it was my fault that i left you guys and i'm deeply repentant..
i know i cant mend the past and so do i not want to repeat the same mistake..
i was treated well when i went there..
(thought a big part i felt was missing..)
i dint wan to upset them like i did to you guys..
(althought a little part of me is confuse of how a few think abt me..)
you guys have taught me a lot and forgiven me for my mistakes..
(i am really greatful for that, really am..)
but i feel that time have given lots of things to change..
i afraid i am unable to catch up the time that i have lost, that have pass..

or maybe i am thinking too far ahead..
maybe i was just invited as a friend..
maybe, just maybe..

now i am really in a big big dilemma..
what am i to do..
someone tell me..


today
well things where as pernormal till before recess..
i shall talk about that in a moment.
then it was a maths.
miss mariana taught a new chapter and well i sort of catch what she is teaching. :)
but more is to be learnt!!
follow by maths which i did the topic 16 very quickly.
i thought the paper was easy but i dint expect that i was that fast.
i also dint cheat using the calculator :)
i was jus about to go home when karina ask me to accomapny her to ws.
i dint really mind as i dint have much plans.
afiqah also tag along as we were heading the same way.
but she insisted that we took bus because of the denguy thingy
so we reluctantly had to take bus especially me!! as i DONT take bus to ws.
but since i have been walking home, i dint really mind taking the bus once!
so karina when to change her lens surprisingly we both bought it from the same shop :)
then bought lunch and went home.
karina took taxi cause of her heavy load.

as usual, 3 plus went swimming. (i think i saw sharmaine i think??)
the weather look great so thought it would be fine but the water was super cold!!!
took me a while to warm up.
then i went to tm and bought dinner.

i'm in a dilemma..
someone tell me what to do..
someone guide the road to me..

12 july
things wasnt good that day.
pe was totally boring.
starting to be less and less interested in pe.
and there was F&N we had to stay back.
we had our work to be check and there was a long queue.
so i went to look at blogskins, being a patient girl letting other ppl to go first.
it ended i did not have any editin to do.
wasted my time in the lab. but is ok.
so wadever. i suddenly felt like drinkin bbt.
it seems like ages since i last drank it.
so i walked to central, to realise that because of the gst increses,
the cost of the drink is now $1.10!!
this tells me it had been a while since i bought bbt.
as normal bought the same drink, got a plastic bag.
but it wasnt my luck!!
the carrier was spoil and the next minute, my drink was on the ground.
i havent even taken a sip!!
when i reached home, was tuition..
i couldnt concentrate on my studies because i kept thinkin of the pile work to be done!!
more and more work is given to me each day.
i'm so tired!!

memories came flashing back that night while lying on my bed..
all kinds of memories..

we had maths test today..
and gosh..i totally forgotten about the test and i dint study.
i'll pass bit wont really score that well :)
then it i was chinese it was oral so we had no lessons.
total waste of time sat in the room doing nothing dint bring any work to do even.
then Brian was totally sick!! he went to torture this beetle.
spoil my mood.
while surprisingly today's chemistry was a little intertesting. haha. but i still dont understand. *sad*
recess we miss out rebecca's share of food. sorry rebecca..
and thanks to me and afiqah she got her share of food :)
then was english.. papa das was super funny. he couldnt find something he needed to do and asked help from class.
i wanted to ask him questions and he thought i was going to help him..
i was totally shocked and embarrass the whole class laughting..
and lastly F&N as i finished my work, i slack during the 2 periods.
haha. i said my whole timetable for school today..

have tonnes and tonnes of work to be done..
it is easier said then done..
it seems i'm unable to forget..
it seems to be left this way..
i gave someone inspiration :)

crap crap crap.
it's still the same.
my daddy is right.
i'll still have that feeling everytime i go back for trg.
why do i still insist on goin back.
each time i go each time i feel more left out.
you chat i hide behind the shadows to see everything.
a wall is being built...

nothing much happen today in school
but guess what..
hai sing is becoming more high tech.
instead of recording our names with pen and papers in the past, now we have to tap our Ezlink.
whasts worst was i was using my sister card today so i lied saying i dint bring my card.
i reached home very late, almost 6 because of F&N and i had to go to ws to do some errans.
there is one thing i agree with wei yang however,
teachers teaching our class is absent. at least 1 or so a week.
our N levels is nearer and...
so what ever it is forget it.

should i or should i not go for tml's trg???

it was my worst nightmare!!
it happen again, last night!!
it was scary, i was patrified ..
i'm sorry.. i dont wish it to happen again!!
not once nor twice not anymore..
please make me forget this nightmare!!
(you wont know how it felt unless you saw it happened)


my fathers gonna be busy with work for the next 2 weeks.. :(
dint went to the gym at all cause my father was busy.
so went to ws with my mother and sis.
we ate lunch at 2plus at the thai restaurant.
so late!! and i was starving..
for dessert we ordered the mango with glutinous rice.
OMG at the sight of it, it reminds me of how much i miss thailand.
i miss the food there :(
ok so went shopping bought a bolero which i was longing to have.
reached home 5 plus, took a short nap and started with my hw.
i was having my dinner, watching tv and doing my F&N. haha going 3 things at a time.
but before i realise it was 11 already!!

elsen called me. He called me and said his father admitted in hospital. i'm not sure what happen but i was like so bad. He called me but i was busy so i dint talk to him.
sorry elsen i couldnt be your listening ear. But wish your father a quick recovery. He will be alright.

make me forget the nightmare..

5 july 2007
had my english oral.
dont think i did well though.
the teacher asked me lots of question. haiz.
to add on i had terrible cramps just before the oral.
i could think or concentrate properly.
so i've to work doubly hard for my other english papers.

6 july 2007
its friday already.
this week seem to pass so fast.
and tml i'm going to the gym again. i think??
had 3 free period in sch as miss lim and miss ku dint came to school.
i wonder whay happened to miss ku.
she dint came to school since tuesday.
then wei yang brought bubble gum and gave it to the whole class.
so nice of him, thanks wei yang :)
today's a great weather but cant go swimming!! SAD
so stayed and slack at home.
i'm starting to realise that my studies is very important (not that i dint realised it in the past).
but something from someone made me realised it more.
so from now on.. start studying hard!!
especially for my a maths and chemistry.
the sec 2s and 3s went to ATC today.
dont know why but i all my memories on my ATC came flashing back.
i miss those days.

i've the song so real by linda liao at last

i dint want to go back.. i dint want to.. but i cant..
why when other ppl are no longer together hey can stop going!!
but not me, i cant, i just cant..
i still have to go..
i have to fact IT.. face it alone, all alone by myself..
what am i suppose to do!?
i cant bring myself to let go.. nor am i able to forget the past..
it was too big of a hurt for me..
just too big..
once a fairytale i could ever imagine of..
and now its shattered and nothing can mend or heal it..
i cant forget, i cant avoid, i cant bring myself to let go all?!!!
it just hurt too deeply that no matter how much tears i let out it still the same..
i cant go back cause it's just too long..
i cant let go cause i just cant seem to forget the memories and everything..
am i totally forgotten by you guys??
am i??
i'm just crying, crying and crying..
comfort or not by you, me or anyone i just cant stop!!
someone please tell me what to do..

ytd blogger had problem couldnt post...

2 july 2007
when to watch nancy drew with my sister at princss.
there where only NINE people there!!!
but at least we wont alone.
i thought it would be only us.

3 july 2007
mr tay suddenly say ytd must go back for trg..
i was like......
then many things happen with me..
marcus also came for training thought he only stayed awhile.
he had to leave before the promotion ceremony.
lets not talk abt him.
but i'm totally disappointed with the sec 2s
not even a single one wanted to join drill com!
why, why like that!!
anyway congrats to michelle for SI and jia hui and jessica for ssgt.
went home and it was sick and tired again.

4 july 2007
cause ytd many things happen.
even when i reached home things happen.
i cried myself to sleep.
till my eyes where so swollen that i had to wear specs
so ppl who ask why did i where them, here is your reason.

i'm so nervous.. tml i'm having oral!!!
pls hope i'm able to do well.

so it wasnt really that good.
my whole body is aching!!
to add on i'm having a bad headache against the terrible wheather.
haiz and there wass till had tuition in the morning.
my body hurts :(