yipee!!
so today when to the gym with my father and sister.
morning also played badminton thought i'm still quite bad at it.
but it felt so gd after all those exercise.
tonight will have a nice nce sleep :)

i want the song so real by linda liao!!!

bla bla bla...
today in school i was being told i was the only person left with my uniform in the room like WTH!
am i really that bad or am surpose to know or what.
time and timeand again i feek terrible.
but somehow i felt welcome like for the first time since such a long long time.

so whatever...
cause of the stupid wheather cant go swimming again.
but the pass few days was really hot!
hope that tml i can go to the gym with my sis and father.
having a week without much exercies feels weird to me.
so stay at home and cleared the junks in my house.
when to central with my sis and saw them.

will they forgive me?
will i get over it?
will i be back myself again?

ytd was totally horrible!!
a very terrible day.
how i wish its all over.

today was only a slightly better.
but things are still the same.

i dont want to think of the happyness anymore.
it brings in more misery
clouding all the happyness away.
put a smiling front.
the slightest wish i hope for has all been dispeared.
let death bring closer.
brings me to a place full of despair.
where there is nothing to think about.

i'm on cloud 9! okay not exactly that happy
but i was praise during f&n it felt great however i couldnt share my joy with anyone:(
though my hard work had paid off. :)
its only the second day of school and it seems like a drag already!!!
still have like 4 months or s before N level is over.
guess what. mr das went for lasic.
omg he said it wasnt any feeling but you see what is happening.
dont know if i still want to do lasic in the future. (kinda of scared)
he also show us our oral marks and i did pretty badly.
was disappointed but can blame no one but myself for not putting in effort.
michelle got the highest. congrats!
then had to rush home after school as i had tuition.
and raymon gave tones of hw 'can'
a women whome i met ytd saying she lost her phone msg just now.
the feeling was kinda of weird. like pen pal feeling but also like a feeling i'm not able to describe.
i also pack my hse kitchen carboard. haha.
happy with my satisfaction. dont know why thought just love packing.
cant stand the sight of messy things.
but jolyn youu need to study!!dont let it disturb your studies.

things i want to do after N levels:
1. pack my house as tiddy as possible. ( u might think is kinda lame. but who cares. i like doing it)
2. want to workk. but find someone to work with me.

thats all i'm hoping for now.

back to school. (yawn)
first day of term 3 sat with minqi. (will i still be sitting with her when grace return??? )
a change in timetable so most of the time was free period.
slept during eng as i was tired (as usual).
then had a surprise MOCK EXAM. what the hell!!
it was science and i dint do much revision during the school holidays even if i did i dint make the effort to remember.
think i'll fail bad especiall for chem.
must work hard jolyn!!
think i shall go my breaks with melaine and juliana.
thought i'm still treated as a shadow, behind, left out.
endure the way through!!
bumb into eileen they all and had that sick awful feeling.
and ws popular dint sell the small small stars anymore!!
cant fill finish my bottle!! i want to fill it all the way!!1

i'm sorry, i disappoint.
i'm sorry, i hurt.
i'm sorry, i'm sorry
a chance is all i'm hoping for now.
will it be too good to be true.?
just a chance


thanks for the talk elsen.
thanks :)
so gonna watch the LAST eposide of after hours.

today is the last last day of the june holidays.
wow! 2 weeks past so fast.
i've finished my hw but my sister hasn't muhahaha.
but i dont look forward to school reopen at all.
it is lonelyness lonelyness and lonelyness.

i tried your test.
i scored full marks.
but i yet to disappoint you them and myself.
there is no word or things that can heal those wounds.
i just want to say i' m really sorry.

yeah!
so all the holidays assigment is done!!
but it is not all over yet.
1 more day and its school reopening.
how i dread it.


is it me she is talking??
''i'm worried''
is it me she has given all up??
''i'm scared''
is it me thats i've wasted??
''i'm unsure''
is it me, is it me
is it???

was surpose to post only followed by the last bit of my holidays hw but ended surfing the net.
a quick one as my eyes is getting tired and dry haven taken out my lens yet!

things coming up:
1. SCHOOL IS REOPENING IN 2 DAYS TIME!!
do i hate school since many things has happen.
2. N-level is coming nearer and nearer.
do i need to study hard. real hard.

things thats has happen:
1. went swimming with the dunman boys.
was gd as i was not treated invisible.
2. first time to ikea and giant warehouse.

they went to pula ubin.. guess it's all over???

So thats all..

as usual. slack in the morning.
when to meet chester and yong jie in the afternooon for swimming.
felt kind of extra.
again have those kind of feeling.
i just hate it. i dont want that feeling.
after that went with yj to TM to buy bread.
on my way back, saw thes n2 ppl. haiz they got the wrong idea. but who cares.
when to central, saw zakee. it's been a long time since i saw him.
he really change in terms of looks other i'm not sure.
so yj walk home with me followed by tuition again.

now conferencing with yj and elsen. but i seem like out of the conversation.
i'm sucha baddie.

i want something.
i want it.
i want it badly.

i hate it !!!
i'm sick and tired of everything.
tuition, homework, tuition, homework.when will all this end.
few more months and it will all be over.
jia you jolyn

i want colours.
i want life.
i dont want lonelyness.
i dont want the life i'm having now.
i dont want, i dont want , i dont want.



where have all the bus 3 gone to???
when to tamp to return some shows just now and the buses took super duper long. Wasted my time.Wanted to watch the new show kinship. Is it nice??? And just now in the bus, all memories came flashing back.
The new tuition teacher?? His teaching is good, i'm able to understand but he is........
Guess what. I didnt expect r***** was till talk to j*****. I havent talk to them for a long long time. i miss them. And i'm really disappointed with r***** a lot.
Anyway sorry Juliana counld not accompany u to cerntal to rebond your hair. You must be looking very beautiful now. So that all.

waiting for elsen to call back.

a week more and the holidays are over.
lots of homeworks are not done yet!!
tml new tuition teacher.

Went out for dinner and waited for an hour before it arrive. so long can?
Reached home, did my work.

when will it all end

Friday when to pasir ris park SLACK with kenji ml and gary.
Well maybe the things that u guys have said i feel it is not the same anymore. I'm totally at a lost.

Yesterday was totally boring. TUITION followed by HOMEWORK. Today also tuition.

Borning Boring LIFE!

when will it all end.

Now i'm at elsen hse.
went to his hse to do some work. Manage to finsih my phys. Yeah! Then also bathe Yuri. She super duper obedient and CUTE! Ate lunch there and later goin out to meet kenji and ml.

whe will it all end

Last night went pasa mala..
today whole morning slacking. Later will be having tuition. boring!

'i feel like dont feel like going out with them. haiz. i'm so unsure.'

all this while i've been deciving myself

yesterday SHREK 3. today homework..

When to watch shrek 3 with my mother and cally. The show wasnt that bad,but it also was as good as expect it to be. Next show, men in white.

So i totally forgotten that i had my holiday assigment was due on monday, just finish completing it not long ago. Still there is lots of homework that is yet to be completed. haiz.

I find life is really meaningless of me anymore. What i'm doing now is just slacking, eating or doing work. There's no more excietment or whatever. Things that i thought to believe in is all sharttered into pieces. I feel everything is gone.

all this while i have been deciving myself.

No Amaths tuition yeah! cause my teacher was sick. But daddy came back from Japan at 2 plus. So this morning had lots of nice snacks from japan. yummy! Slack at home the whole day. In evening when out for dinner with my family and to carrefour. The stupid cashier we were queuing was super slow. Took their own sweet time. Bought lots of things. Ml also orgainse another outing with kenji. Then came home talk to elsen till 12 plus before going to sleep.

Today was totally BORING! Stayed at home the WHOLEDAY! But i did some holiday hw (good girl)

life is getting more boring for me. Hoping for something interesting to happen.

when will i let things go...

Yesterday last the last day of block booking!!! many people dint turn up. less then half the class came for science. then was F&N. Rebecca forgotten to bring her thumbdrive and walk with her to her house to collect it. Then went to tamp to borrow show again. This time was big FAT liar and the perface man and went to buy dinner. (yes i know the shows are out dated now. but who cares.) my sis ordered fried rice and they gave us something else. No choice, still have to eat it though.


So today dint play badminton due to too much tuition hw. it ended my tuition starts at 3.30 instead of 3. After that i quarrel with my mother. haiz. She keeps pestering me to study.( i'll go crazy one day)




So last night i dint finish my coursework. Manage to finish today at 10 plus??

Today i was late for school! haha. But i dint rush to school still. Grace came even later then me. Besides that i got body crams the whole day! Guess i roller blade too much yesterday. The express class came to our lab and it was noisy and cram with both classes still i can concentrate with my work. :) (good girl). However, i pon chemistry.(how interesting can chemistry get with my current teacher) i dint feel like going and wasnt the only student who pon. So bought my lunch before goin home. Later in the day did my F&N till 10 and finished editing :) ml ask me to go roller blading again tomorrow with kenji and gary but was cancel cause she dont plan occasion well shhhh... i told myself to do some holiday assigment today but still nothing is done!! Tomorrow must do some.

wish someone's mother a quick recovery

when will i let things go...

So here i'm back with with my post. So block booking was as boring as usual. However english was special. Papa Das(mr das) cycled to school and brought it into the room. It was those kind of tracking bike. Cant tell he cycle especially those kind of bike. (i think too lowly of him. haha) Well, i really enjoyed myself lots today. Went out with josephine, joyce, li wen, karina, puay joo, sean and wei yang to Pasir Ris Park roller blading. Guess wad, i saw a monkey(close up) and a squirrel. Joyce and sean fell (ouch. hope their wound to heal fast) It was sunset when we left the place. Both puay joo and i waited for karina father to fetch her before we left. Reached home at around 8.10( miss my show) but it was great fun! Thanks guy so much. So here i am now talkin to elsen before buring my mid-night oil with F&N (BORING!)

ps: better get starting with my holiday assigments.

when will i let things go...

when will i let things go...