Thursday, January 13, 2011
@ 10:38 PM
almost a mth since the last entry
thought if writing it down in a journal would be better
but standard! i cant do a day to day journal.
guess wad i feel like doin i'll jus do :)
for nw i wanna blog. haha!!
sch's start been busy with studies :S and sick!
hate that i'm nt bondin well w my empire peeps hopefully things will turn out fine
and since hols i've nt been goin for trg regulary!!
its like shit! cause i really dont feel like goin anymore :S
no one but myself to blame :X
plus plus there's a com comin this sat. gg and gonna be like my last com i must need to join
from nw till dont knw when i'll jus gao feeling to join haha!
besides all this relationship w bf had been real great :D happy happiness :D
only thing i hate my ears :S i'm really have bad hearin problem everytime talkin to love on e phone..
and and and i wan my hair to grow long long nowwwww
lastly gonnna make blog open again. cause i dont wan it to be a dead blog.
but i'll change my mind. i always do jus like bf :D
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
@ 4:24 AM
Flower, gleam and glow
Let your power shine
Make the clock reverse
Bring back what once was mine
Heal what had been hurt
Change the Fates' design
Save what has been lost
Bring back what once was mine
What once was mine
Monday, November 22, 2010
@ 6:17 PM
prior to the previous post do i still feel that way?
i knw i wan to change hw i feel
but i jus cant
i cant find the strength to do so
felt v comforted after bf text but after a while the feelin came back
crapness hate the feelin y does it always have to come back not even an hr or 2 and it return
what the hell is wrong with me.
i hate seriously hate feelin like this but i jus cant help it
my emotions is sooo totally takin control all over me.
i'm jus hiding my emotions deep inside cause i dont wan ppl to ask am i alright cause i'm not i'm not alright at all but i jus dont feel like say or sharing to anyone. yess i dont wan to share or tell anyone hw i'm feelin wad i'm goin throught.
only u knw wad i'm goin throught...
and u tell me hw even after ur comforted msg an hr or 2 i feel this way again.
arent i serious hopeless???
@ 10:09 AM
suddenly i thought have i really been too selfish and nvr care enough abt bf feelings???
am i that mean n uncaring? always makin bf angry n worried n upset.
is that all i'm capable of?
always not wantin to do all this yet it always happen
always happen before he book in makes everything feels crap
and i'm gettin from bad to worst cant help feelin better.
when my awful feelin i jus dont knw wad i wan.
i always makes things worst.
nw that this point of time i feel even more crap
i cant help feelin better but i also dont wan u to worry.
i'm in the verge of really collapsing and breakin down.
i jus cant take another blow anymore.
we made each other happy bt we also made both of us feel like crap.
u always say things will get better.
in the past i always trust u.
but nw i keep havin doubts
u say things will be alright but no it jus get worst.
we'll keep arguin again.
this relationship both make me really really happy but also really sad too.
i jus dont knw hw to keep going.
every other time crying even for the smallest thing.
its pathetic u knw. i feel pathetic but i jus cant control the tears.
i cant control my feelin and jus made things worst.
i'm on the verge of collapse alr.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
@ 7:09 PM
today sch sucks
totally shitty to the max.
i really feel i'm tryin my best to study harder but all it seems is bull shit and crapness
seriously.
was feelin worst to the max after the last lecture
where i went to find clique and i said i dint understand next thing got ppl teachin min n karmun
shit shit can how come ppl all care for them when they straggle
but i feel like i'm nt bothered.
no one knws how much i'm strugglin
shit the course shit me for choosin it
its all negative but wads optimism can i find
realise that i've the lowest gpa for the girls in my class.
not like i dont wan to do my best but crap shit wads the use wads the point!
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
@ 8:07 PM
guess it really better being private can really say and type wad i want.
so today is well can kinda say great. :)
morning slack/show w sis/editin of essay plus lunch w my mum n sis
then went to love hse to slack and nap
before sentin love to ws to get stuff for his friend and went him off for the bus to yishun :)
things that kinda suck to day so wann to have better communication w love.
then also i wan to make an effort to dress better for love :)
i also wan to train for climbin but feels crap!
everything seein fb ppl commentin abt climbin stuff i feel sucky :(
Sunday, November 14, 2010
@ 10:17 PM
i hate climbin
i hate wad i see n am not part of it.
i,m like a on one and it totally sucks
but who else to blame but myself....